Lancia Report - in Pieces
Posted: 20 Oct 2010, 14:30
oh my B)
I´ve been asked to write about "something Lancia", preferably about "Model ABC", or, if not about that Model, anything about any Model that might possibly interest readers of a particular Lancia Publication.
I proceeded to drag some dusty-old-drivel from the Literary-Cellar (actually some was in drier attic), freshened 'em up a bit ; removed "harsh-text"; replaced that text with a mild version of same, changed Manufacturer & Model Name &... ooo la la...old-drivel is now new-drivel .
It has been determined that this "new-Article" is to be several Articles & will be published as such.
Since few if none of thems who read Viva-Lancia English will ever receive nor read the other Publication, I've decided to liven-up your lives...or not...depending on how excitable you are:)
The Article - Pert I
for a change of Pace I give You the Fulvia Berlina - not Flaminia or Gamma or Flavia Berlina
- however, you can remove Fulvia if you wish & insert Flaminia, Gamma, Flavia or even Beta; it will still remain – more or less - same old same old Story -
PS: I’ve toned-down* the acidic-text from earlier versions which was actually first written, yrs ago, about horrid sub-standard vehicles of a different-manufacturer), *so as to not hurt feelings of Fulvia Berlina Owners, too much !!
Fulvisti, START YOUR FULVIA…..sputter puut puut cough blatt vrooommm vrooom
Every nice „still on the road“ Fulvia Berlina has a long-Story.
Some „sleeping but to-be-saved“ Fulvia Berlina have a long-stories too.
Some of these Stories are traceable, Day 1 to Day Now.
Some Stories are Murky, at Best*.
Some are Total-Fiction (i.e.-TOTAL BS) ! "Driven to Church by a Saint only on Dry Days" etc ha ha
Some Stories are Total-Unknowns*; so You Have to Make Up Your Own Story, if you own a Fulvia Berlina
*which is certainly understandable, so many years after production-ended.
Fulvia B - simple-charm & great-practicality in their favor; not forgetting to add great-rarity !
So few have survived. Their owners probably drove them daily when they were newish, which is certainly why they bought them ! They probably traded their Fulvia B for a newer modern Lancia (what else?) at some point. Or parked it under an Apple-Tree in a Garden at some point !! Few Fulvia B owners invested in restoration; understandably. Cost to restore a Fulvia B could easily be 10x its real-value – or more !!! - in the real-world - after the restoration ! Yikes Batman !!
Fulvia B are not, it seems, very desirable, as Collectors Automobiles. I understand !
I wouldn’t really want to own a Fulvia B….unless I lived in a very-warm-climate & was able to buy a very nice Fulvia B GT, for very little money. As it is, I live in a place where „“Winter is Wintery“; as mild as it may be in this Valley, we still have icey-salty roads …. plus toooo much rain in non-Winter.
I get nervous when my old Car(s) are even driven in Rain or even parked in hot-sun, when it does appear !!!
N. Euro isn’t the place for a Fulvia B as a daily driver – or even as a sometimes-driver (says me). Others disagree & drive all the time ! Bravo Fulvisti !
S.A., AU, Sud-Euro, California…dry places…Yes ! If the sun bakes the paint, repaint in a Nice-Metallic-Colour !
Actually, N. Anywhere isn’t a good place for any older car. As we all know… being honest …they all rustrustrust - or - if a they are a fiberglass-body-bomber on a steelfloorframe – the steelfloorframe rusts silently & the fiberglass* crazes & cracks ! Cracked Crazed Fiberglass is a Night-Mare to be sure !!
*Wow, you can double your trouble for the same buying price ! Watta deal Robin ! Lets buy 2 ![/i]
& besides & honestly – Fulvia B was & still is rather somewhat-boring visually, they have rather brick-like-looking aerodynamics, are usually dressed in drabish colors, always had a drabish interior, always had little performance! Can you imagine lack of performance when carrying a large-family., a full gas tank, with luggage + a 1.1 54 HP Fulvia B itself !
BUT IN ITS DAY IT WAS, performance-wise, RIGHT UP THERE WITH OR AHEAD OF THE "PRETENDERS" IN THE EURO-MID-SIZE-AUTO-PACK !!! So There Robin !!
Fulvia B always had plain white steel-wheels ? Why White ? Fulvia B alway had super tiny narrowish tires ! But, I have been told that these tires were right tires for Fulvia B. So There, yourself Batman !!
Fulvia B: perhaps a heavy-shoe-box on wheels – with ½ of storage-space taken up by spare tire ! Still – it still packs a lot of People-Space into a Small-Space by being so Boxy ; so it Makes-Sense, even Today.
Aha Batman, I see !!
Not forgetting - had it been larger, it would have been the:
Boxer-Motored (oh what horrors Batman!!) Boxy Bodied Flavia Berlina.
& besides & honestly – Fulvia B was & still is rather somewhat-boring visually, they have rather brick-like-looking aerodynamics, are usually dressed in drabish colors, always had a drabish interior, always had little performance! Can you imagine lack of performance when carrying a large-family., a full gas tank, with luggage + a 1.1 54 HP Fulvia B itself !
BUT IN ITS DAY IT WAS, performance-wise, RIGHT UP THERE WITH OR AHEAD OF THE PRETENDERS IN THE EURO-MID-SIZE-AUTO-PACK !!! So There Double Dare Robin !!
Fulvia B always had plain white steel-wheels ? Why White ? Fulvia B alway had super tiny narrowish tires ! But, I have been told that these tires were right tires for Fulvia B. So There, yourself Batman !!
Fulvia B: perhaps a heavy-shoe-box on wheels – with ½ of storage-space taken up by spare tire ! Still – it still packs a lot of People-Space into a Small-Space by being so Boxy ; so it Makes-Sense, even Today.
Aha Batman, I see !!
Not forgetting - had it been larger, it would have been the:
Boxer-Motored (oh what horrors Batman!!) Boxy Bodied Flavia Berlina.
& - SURPRISE !! I like the FulvIa B !!!! I like the Flavia B more !!!
Just like I liked my economical copper metallic (of course) 1970 Boxey Pudget 404 automatic, a/c that only knew 1 position = FREEZE !!, sunroof, fins, headrests, rugs & lots of chrome…features no Fulvia ever had …….. Away Back in Days of Ould !!!
Cheech Batman..why didn’t Fulvia B have those features too?, at least as options ?…a naked Fulvia Berlina for so much more HARD-CASH than a loaded French 404 could have had some luxury, or not ?
Well, Robin, not all in Life is Fair
Back to Boxes - in fairness to Boxy Fulvia B Enginering & Styling-Teams (RIP):
what Sedaney 4doorey o’ those times was longlowsleekspiffyunintelligently-bodied & not BOXYBOXY ?
BOXY was In, Chic & Intelligent ! Check out - Lada, Fiat, Seat, Inno, A'bianci, Volvo, DAF, Nis-Dat-Toy-Maz-Suburatimo's of bygone days + most "smallish"- US/UK/DE/FR family cars ! No low pointy noses (takes-up parking space); long shallow tails (no room for luggage, takes-up parking space), no extended front overhang in the name of "style" (taking up more space in crowded cities); "Batman, we better trade in the Batmobile B for a Fulvia B quick, but a 1.3L please!
ooops, there went a long low spiffy strange-bodied Citroen ID DS SM (etc) Buck Rogers Flash Gordon Space-Ship Flying Saucer !!! LOOKING MORE BATCARISH THAN THE REAL BATMOBILE !! WOP, KAZAMM, HOLEY MOLEY BATGIRL !!!
Ahem ,,,, I have many Fulvia B Friends who Love their Fulvia B !
I am happy for them !!
I have no friends with 404’s & have no idea if any 404’s exist anywhere anymore ??
End of Pert I: thank goodness
I´ve been asked to write about "something Lancia", preferably about "Model ABC", or, if not about that Model, anything about any Model that might possibly interest readers of a particular Lancia Publication.
I proceeded to drag some dusty-old-drivel from the Literary-Cellar (actually some was in drier attic), freshened 'em up a bit ; removed "harsh-text"; replaced that text with a mild version of same, changed Manufacturer & Model Name &... ooo la la...old-drivel is now new-drivel .
It has been determined that this "new-Article" is to be several Articles & will be published as such.
Since few if none of thems who read Viva-Lancia English will ever receive nor read the other Publication, I've decided to liven-up your lives...or not...depending on how excitable you are:)
The Article - Pert I
for a change of Pace I give You the Fulvia Berlina - not Flaminia or Gamma or Flavia Berlina
- however, you can remove Fulvia if you wish & insert Flaminia, Gamma, Flavia or even Beta; it will still remain – more or less - same old same old Story -
PS: I’ve toned-down* the acidic-text from earlier versions which was actually first written, yrs ago, about horrid sub-standard vehicles of a different-manufacturer), *so as to not hurt feelings of Fulvia Berlina Owners, too much !!
Fulvisti, START YOUR FULVIA…..sputter puut puut cough blatt vrooommm vrooom
Every nice „still on the road“ Fulvia Berlina has a long-Story.
Some „sleeping but to-be-saved“ Fulvia Berlina have a long-stories too.
Some of these Stories are traceable, Day 1 to Day Now.
Some Stories are Murky, at Best*.
Some are Total-Fiction (i.e.-TOTAL BS) ! "Driven to Church by a Saint only on Dry Days" etc ha ha
Some Stories are Total-Unknowns*; so You Have to Make Up Your Own Story, if you own a Fulvia Berlina
*which is certainly understandable, so many years after production-ended.
Fulvia B - simple-charm & great-practicality in their favor; not forgetting to add great-rarity !
So few have survived. Their owners probably drove them daily when they were newish, which is certainly why they bought them ! They probably traded their Fulvia B for a newer modern Lancia (what else?) at some point. Or parked it under an Apple-Tree in a Garden at some point !! Few Fulvia B owners invested in restoration; understandably. Cost to restore a Fulvia B could easily be 10x its real-value – or more !!! - in the real-world - after the restoration ! Yikes Batman !!
Fulvia B are not, it seems, very desirable, as Collectors Automobiles. I understand !
I wouldn’t really want to own a Fulvia B….unless I lived in a very-warm-climate & was able to buy a very nice Fulvia B GT, for very little money. As it is, I live in a place where „“Winter is Wintery“; as mild as it may be in this Valley, we still have icey-salty roads …. plus toooo much rain in non-Winter.
I get nervous when my old Car(s) are even driven in Rain or even parked in hot-sun, when it does appear !!!
N. Euro isn’t the place for a Fulvia B as a daily driver – or even as a sometimes-driver (says me). Others disagree & drive all the time ! Bravo Fulvisti !
S.A., AU, Sud-Euro, California…dry places…Yes ! If the sun bakes the paint, repaint in a Nice-Metallic-Colour !
Actually, N. Anywhere isn’t a good place for any older car. As we all know… being honest …they all rustrustrust - or - if a they are a fiberglass-body-bomber on a steelfloorframe – the steelfloorframe rusts silently & the fiberglass* crazes & cracks ! Cracked Crazed Fiberglass is a Night-Mare to be sure !!
*Wow, you can double your trouble for the same buying price ! Watta deal Robin ! Lets buy 2 ![/i]
& besides & honestly – Fulvia B was & still is rather somewhat-boring visually, they have rather brick-like-looking aerodynamics, are usually dressed in drabish colors, always had a drabish interior, always had little performance! Can you imagine lack of performance when carrying a large-family., a full gas tank, with luggage + a 1.1 54 HP Fulvia B itself !
BUT IN ITS DAY IT WAS, performance-wise, RIGHT UP THERE WITH OR AHEAD OF THE "PRETENDERS" IN THE EURO-MID-SIZE-AUTO-PACK !!! So There Robin !!
Fulvia B always had plain white steel-wheels ? Why White ? Fulvia B alway had super tiny narrowish tires ! But, I have been told that these tires were right tires for Fulvia B. So There, yourself Batman !!
Fulvia B: perhaps a heavy-shoe-box on wheels – with ½ of storage-space taken up by spare tire ! Still – it still packs a lot of People-Space into a Small-Space by being so Boxy ; so it Makes-Sense, even Today.
Aha Batman, I see !!
Not forgetting - had it been larger, it would have been the:
Boxer-Motored (oh what horrors Batman!!) Boxy Bodied Flavia Berlina.
& besides & honestly – Fulvia B was & still is rather somewhat-boring visually, they have rather brick-like-looking aerodynamics, are usually dressed in drabish colors, always had a drabish interior, always had little performance! Can you imagine lack of performance when carrying a large-family., a full gas tank, with luggage + a 1.1 54 HP Fulvia B itself !
BUT IN ITS DAY IT WAS, performance-wise, RIGHT UP THERE WITH OR AHEAD OF THE PRETENDERS IN THE EURO-MID-SIZE-AUTO-PACK !!! So There Double Dare Robin !!
Fulvia B always had plain white steel-wheels ? Why White ? Fulvia B alway had super tiny narrowish tires ! But, I have been told that these tires were right tires for Fulvia B. So There, yourself Batman !!
Fulvia B: perhaps a heavy-shoe-box on wheels – with ½ of storage-space taken up by spare tire ! Still – it still packs a lot of People-Space into a Small-Space by being so Boxy ; so it Makes-Sense, even Today.
Aha Batman, I see !!
Not forgetting - had it been larger, it would have been the:
Boxer-Motored (oh what horrors Batman!!) Boxy Bodied Flavia Berlina.
& - SURPRISE !! I like the FulvIa B !!!! I like the Flavia B more !!!
Just like I liked my economical copper metallic (of course) 1970 Boxey Pudget 404 automatic, a/c that only knew 1 position = FREEZE !!, sunroof, fins, headrests, rugs & lots of chrome…features no Fulvia ever had …….. Away Back in Days of Ould !!!
Cheech Batman..why didn’t Fulvia B have those features too?, at least as options ?…a naked Fulvia Berlina for so much more HARD-CASH than a loaded French 404 could have had some luxury, or not ?
Well, Robin, not all in Life is Fair
Back to Boxes - in fairness to Boxy Fulvia B Enginering & Styling-Teams (RIP):
what Sedaney 4doorey o’ those times was longlowsleekspiffyunintelligently-bodied & not BOXYBOXY ?
BOXY was In, Chic & Intelligent ! Check out - Lada, Fiat, Seat, Inno, A'bianci, Volvo, DAF, Nis-Dat-Toy-Maz-Suburatimo's of bygone days + most "smallish"- US/UK/DE/FR family cars ! No low pointy noses (takes-up parking space); long shallow tails (no room for luggage, takes-up parking space), no extended front overhang in the name of "style" (taking up more space in crowded cities); "Batman, we better trade in the Batmobile B for a Fulvia B quick, but a 1.3L please!
ooops, there went a long low spiffy strange-bodied Citroen ID DS SM (etc) Buck Rogers Flash Gordon Space-Ship Flying Saucer !!! LOOKING MORE BATCARISH THAN THE REAL BATMOBILE !! WOP, KAZAMM, HOLEY MOLEY BATGIRL !!!
Ahem ,,,, I have many Fulvia B Friends who Love their Fulvia B !
I am happy for them !!
I have no friends with 404’s & have no idea if any 404’s exist anywhere anymore ??
End of Pert I: thank goodness
