gamma mirrors & Parking

[gamma a.i.]

parking a long-door fat-hipped gamma Cpe (g) on upper or on lower level of a dual-level double-wide narrow-slot parking ramp (pr) in a shared with neighbors, well-lit garage - with numerous concrete structual supports; supports that cause creepy dark shadows to be cast, supports which well confuse the optical nerves of those parking a g or any other vehicle, isn't particularly easy. I have no idea what it is like park a g Berlina; I do not wish to discover.

Bright overhead lighting located only in the garage center ceiling reflect & re-reflect off of the shiny supports & off the shiny garage walls at crazy angles - not only at night - semi-blinding all who dare to dare. Just getting a g in place to drive onto & into the pr is a task; even if there is no other person attempting to do the same thing at the same time (in another vehicle, that is) on another ramp or on the same ramp.

The result of this poorly planned & placed lighting-placement to the driver is a moving, spinning disco-light, weird geometrical-patterned, laser-measured, vast experience-required, body-twisting, hand arm foot leg head neck coordination squint-eyed exersize, a pre-doomed to failure challenge.

Of course, as you already assume, the rear 1/3 of pr remains totally unlit; totally dark at night, 3/4 shadowed daytime only with bright sun . Remember that all g back-up lights are weak; very weak. And that the pr is lower in rear than in front. What lurks back there ...only the Phantom knows !

Some persons without all (or some or any) of of the required skills / qualifacations - persons who are authorized to park on their own pr - either have someone else park for them- or simply park outside; even in winter.

You can ask SR about her then new, shiny, completely undamaged A1; you can ask JSG about our then new, shiny, rather undamaged FP. On 2d thought, do not ask either of them. SR now always parks her A1 outside; unless WR (her dad) is available to park it. JSG learned how to perform parking magic. JSG now laughs at SR. She ignores him !

Exact pre-planning of at what speed the garage should be entered at; exact pre-planning of when to turn the steering wheel (sw) at exactly what exact pre-planned angle (horrors in a just-started cold-engined g) & pre-planning of at what speed to turn the sw how-much for how long & how quickly to counter turn sw is absolutely necessarily required, especially more so when there is already another fat-hipped car occupying the other 1/2 of the pr. Driving on to the pr is easier than driving off of the ramp; except for at night. Getting to the pr at the correct angle to drive onto & into the pr is never easy or quik.

Driving off of the pr and then exiting the garage is even worse, day or night, since g sw's should not be turned too much - at least until the engine oil & power-steer (ps) oil are somewhat warm & then only turning sw at somewhat much of a ° if the timing / ps belts are good.

A small prayer may help.

g driver know many prayers !!

The in-garage concrete-supports are (required to be) everewhere: thus the dwellings above do not fall into the garage. We (who live above the garage) pray that all of the supports do their jobs well.

Follow me- into my gamma- in the garage - on the upper pr (when lowered) - if you are brave.

In order to drive off pr / to exit garage, arrive before (long before) neighbors are even awake - or - wait until the majority of the neighbors that exit garage in AM have left. Neither driver nor passenger should pull the cord to activate the mechanism that opens garage steel-mesh floor to roof gate; that action will have to wait.

Driver only: carefully enter g on left (drivers) side; be quite careful to not damage long-door's trailing edge nor damage neighbors car door. NOTE: large (tall or wide) persons do not stand a chance. Passenger should exit garage on foot to avoid breathing in white smoke; they should remain under the over hang if raining; since they will wait there for some time.

Rule: the longer the g has not been driven, the more smoke will fill the garage;which is thankfully well ventilated - usually with a breeze blowing through. Smoke does not remain in garage for long, fuel fumes do.
Pump gas-pedal 2 or 3 times if g has been driven in last 24 hours; 5 or 6 times if it has not been driven in last 24 hours. Split the difference or add to as required when air temp in garage is below zero. Start g, feather pedal; wait for some time (15 - 30 seconds) for 4cyl boxer engine to smooth out; find another gear before trying1st gear; if 1st refuses to be found, proceed in 2d. Ignore Gamma rumble...

Pull slowly & slightly forward, turn sw oh so slightly to left (avoiding neighbors lr fender) ; then sw oh so slightly to right, when forward 1/2 of g has dropped off pr. Drive as far forward as possible, increasing the sw ° of turn to right as forward progress is made...distance traveled: ca 5m.

Quickly turn sw somewhat to left, in order to back up in proper direction at an ever increasing °. Repeat until g nose is facing exit gate. Take a deep breath, hold it; exit g, close g door; quik-step to cord; pull it, quik step back to and in to g.

Exit Garage total time elapsed - 2 to 3 to 4 to 5 minutes- if another car is sharing upper-pr; 15% less of no car is sharing upper-pr.

Do not forget to pick waiting passenger; who could not enter g previously, without climbing in head first, butt 2d, feet last - gracefully over to the passengers seat. Tall persons, wide persons, still persons exempted !!

Gate will close automatically. Smoke will dissapate; drive away quickly, before someone yells

Smile & Rejoice - to drive an exquisite Lancia g; even if it is only 15 minutes to office.

When entering the garage in a g much space is still required, to jockey a g several times fore & aft, now with warm oils, allowing greater sw turning °; in order to squeeze onto & into 1/2 of pr; damage free. Less jockeying if pr is 1/2 empty.

The dry, secure garage is shared with neighbors. Each of us has 1/2 of a 2 level double wide ramp. It is patience-time when many persons wish to enter or exit garage simultaneously. Sometimes it is better to walk back upstairs to the kitchen to drink anotha coffee iuntil all other have departed.

In 10 years not one angry word has been exchanged. On my shared pr upper-level my neighbors park their Audi hard to right; as I also do in my g; however the A is parked nose in & the g is parked nose out. When we park accurately we can both exit A or g from our left (drivers) door without causing excruciating pain to our bodies nor causing damage to either vehicle. It is really tight, but it can be done.
Umm, mirorrs (on g) have gotten knocked off..........

Now the Good News: lower pr is 5x harder to negotatiate; some neighbors - with their pr located in impossible to find hidden corners of garage - never park on the lower pr; they let me fill those otherwise empty lower pr with various & sundry seldom driven Lancia or wheels &/or tires.

These pr must have been designed before the wheel & then for much narrower cars. Depth-wise they are fine; height wise they are shallow, no roof mounted antennae will survive. Neighbor MR's VW Touran never fit; not on his upper nor on his lower pr. 2 Lancia live there now.
MR needs a big car, he is a big man !

The garage could have not been planned nor constructed differently.

I respect the Architech-Team (neighbor, 200m removed)) who was able to squeeze so much usable (ha ha) parking space into a strangely semi- non-trianglular obliquely-angled plot of ground - sort of shaped like 2 NYC Flatiron Buildings placed head to head, except that the heads are somewhat flattened & are not quite aligned. 1 Flatiron is the garage, 2d Flatiron (slighly different angles & dimensions) is sunken garden, complete with fish-pond, water lilies, shade trees.

The garden to could have been a garage..........but at what price convienence & comfort vs beauty ?

In our Punto or in anyone elses smaller, shorter doored, narrower car....jockeying is still necessary...but nowhere as near as much jockeying (cursing or praying) as in a g; it is still worth the price !!!

oh yes, I'll get to the mirrors tomorrow.....